We're facebook friends in real life
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
