Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
