i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This is my life. Enjoy the view
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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