Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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