Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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