playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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