she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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