dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
