he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
