so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
