I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
