Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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