Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
