great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again