Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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