i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
