I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
