what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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