your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize