Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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