i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
