White coat. Heels.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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