Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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