I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Every concussion has its silver lining
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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