your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
