I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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