How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
