An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
