I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
