I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
