I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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