He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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