my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
