He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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