dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
