Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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