In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
