yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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