i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
