His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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