hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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