You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In other news, I just burned my penis
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
