Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
