Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize