that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize