I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm too high and old for this...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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