Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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