Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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