Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?

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(772): View more from Florida

bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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(206): View more from Washington

You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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(425): View more from Washington

He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.

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(846): View more from

he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.

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(260): View more from Indiana

The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies

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(765): View more from Indiana

He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.

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