i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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