yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
