Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
