Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
