dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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