Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
