you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
