I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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