We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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