Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Text me some of your sweat
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
