Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
