Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
