I love black thongs
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
